5 Movie Sequels I Do and Don’t Want To See

Just to be sure you know what you’re in for, this article is 5 movie sequels I do want to see and 5 other sequels I don’t want to see. I couldn’t word the title any better. It’s not 5 movies I have mixed opinions on or anything.

Sorry for the confusion.

Thanks for your understanding.

Recently, I have been plagued by news popping up about Roland Emmerich’s desire to make an Independence day sequel. Here’s the latest.

Dumb idea. Like most of his movies in the past few years.

It's like Planet of the Apes but stupid

It got me thinking about the sequels that people really should be making, instead of dragging out some forgotten 80′s trilogy and adding to it.

I shall now begin with the 5 sequels I really don’t want to see (in no particular order). Everything on this list has the potential to be considered by some mindless movie studio and are realistically make-able and possibly already in production.

#1 – The Incredibles 2

I start with the most controversial entry into this post. Brad Bird and Pixar came together a few years ago to deliver what is arguably one of the finest superhero films ever made. Great characters, fantastic story and undeniably clever, this movies screams sequel/franchise material.

Everyone wants a another one. Except me.

I love this movie and while it would be great to see the characters doing superhero stuff again, the charm of the movie is in the unique take on superhero-ness. Where would a sequel go? It would just be another superhero movie and we all know we have more than enough of them.

If Pixar did make it, I’m sure they would come up with something clever and original for the characters to do. But really, I’d rather they didn’t risk it.

#2 – Spiderman 4

Already well into pre-production, I’m positively dreading what Raimi and Co. have in store for us. Why? Spiderman 3 sucked? Yes. But that’s not my main reason.

Kirsten Dunst is.

I’ve said it many times before (to some people) that one of the worst things about the Spiderman franchise is its version of Mary Jane. Constantly relegated to damsel in distress, there is none of the cool, independent Mary Jane of the comics anywhere in Dunst’s performance.

The Spiderman franchise seems to be unable to cast it’s female characters well (Bryce Dallas Howard was definitely not the best choice, although far from the worst) and, as much as I like Rachel McAdams, she would make a horrible, horrible Black Cat.

#3 – Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Also in pre-prod, a fourth excursion into the Pirates franchise is just a stupid idea. The latter two films really weren’t good. At all. So why would you try again?

#4 – A ‘Superman Returns’ sequel

As most of you can attest to, Superman Returns was an epic failure. For some reason, they thought everyone wanted to see a whole lot of romantic drama and obvious Jesus metaphors instead of Superman punching things and using his powers.

It’d be way better to, rather than continue down this particularly boring path, do a huge revamp (but not an origin movie) and cast Mad Men’s John Hamm to put on Supes’ tights and beat the crap out of something. Preferably someone.

#5 – Kill Bill Volume 3

A while ago I heard that Quentin Tarantino brought this up as a realistic possibility. Hardest oene on the list to pull off mainly because of one thing:

Didn’t Bill die? Isn’t it really hard to kill something that’s already dead?

Maybe the entire movie will be The Bride trying to live a normal life with two hours of her ‘killing’ (paying) her bills (bills).

Hey mortgage payment! You're mine.

Others not included on this list (but now kind of are): Twice (sequel to Once), Back to the Future 4, Anything involving the Terminator.

Now, five sequels I really DO want to see. Again, some of these may already be in production while some are positively hypothetical.

#1 – Roger Rabbit 2

Robert Zemeckis keeps teasing me with this one. So I’m going to say it’s in pre-pre-production.

Imagine the possibilities! Zemeckis’ motion capture fetish would be extremely well utilised with a possible 2D vs 3D animation storyline going. Bob Hoskins would have to be there and, of course, Roger.

The only tricky thing would be filling the cool cameo cartoon spaces. Unfortunately, the Looney Tunes really aren’t as popular as they once were, and there really hasn’t been a 3D equivalent of late but hopefully this will be played at adult audiences and not going too much for a new audience.

I trust you Zemeckis.

#2 – Ghostbusters 3

In production with the entire original cast returning. That’s good. New, younger recruits? Not as good.

But seriously, if Bill Murray has agreed to do it, it must be means it’s at least a decent story. Just give Ernie Hudson more to do this time.

I just wish they had got Rick Moranis back.

#3 – Batman 3

Obvious choice. But I have some requirements that the movie needs to fulfill (I’ll see it anyway but it would be awesom-er with these things in it).

Firstly: Joseph Gordon Levitt. I love that guy. He would make an amazing Riddler if they went that way, especially if they approached the character like he is in Brian Azzerello’s Joker. Just put him in it.

Secondly: Get Batman an inhaler.

It would slip comfortably into his utility belt

Thirdly: Robin. Or at least Dick Grayson. I may have just blasphemed the franchise with this suggestion and I know Chris Nolan and Christian Bale are dead set against it but he is such an important part of the Batman story that he needs to be there somewhere. He doesn’t have to become Robin but the whole arc of Batman trying to stop a vengeful child from turning out like him is a great opportunity for some decent character development.

#4 – Star Trek 2

Also in development, I will enthusiastically sit through this one.

I’ve never been a Trek fan. Ever. But that revamped Star Trek movie was an exciting monster to watch.

I still wouldn’t dress up though.

#5 – Jingle All the Way 2

You think I’m joking. I’m not. Best. Christmas. Movie. Ever. And it has a Santa fight.

Arnie has to be there. So does Sinbad. I’m sure he’d be up for it. Phil Hartman can be excused.

And this better not be some straight to video crap either.

Arnie at his best. No contest.

Zach

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~ by zachjacobsen on November 13, 2009.